This past Monday she fell in for real. Into a hole created by a 2008 tremor that dropped the CCN broadcasting and film studios into the core of the earth, or thereabouts. It is still a mystery, where the main building is gone, but Ruby’s Under the Red Lake Water retreat surfaced only enough to be seen. With a tug here and push there, she managed, after falling into the hole and causing more frustration for her colleagues at CCN, to pull the office up and over the side. After that her colleagues left, so aggravated they were. Always.

Now Ruby was left with a mess of her own making. Here in a pile on the desert were the pieces of a once elaborately furnished office suite where Ruby hid out during a crisis of faith at the network. This part of her long and winding saga happened during the year of our Yahvo, 2006.

For two baffling years she worked from beneath the lake manipulating here and there, or whenever possible. Her contributions to CCN programming were limited and targeted. Her ego, enormous and bull-headed resisted any criticism. There was no arguing with her about matters related to the breakup of the network. A lingering and slow to develop ice burn is generally more painful, than a burn caused by pyre fire. After a pyre fire there is no cause for fuming over what went all wrong. There is nothing left but ash. In a circumstance where ice burns there is a drip that lingers on.Image

The pile of rubble on the desert represented what was left of her schmoozing, mea- culpas, social ladder climbing and CCN production efforts. It’s not that she didn’t work hard. She worked day and night, without enough sleep and non-stop intermittently. Ruby was totally dedicated to her work of restoration. But her theories about what restoration meant, and what other explorers thought restoration mean were not in sync 95% of the time.

What made matters more inconvenient was that Ruby could not, for the life of herself, figure out why the explorers felt like they did, particularly the 50 or so, UU restoration effort explorers who ventured into the CCN enterprise from the outset. Ruby had her agenda. The fifty had their agendas. It was a wacky concoction – a herding cats soup that went quickly from simmering to burning hot, and then to frozen like a dead penguin in a few short months. Under no circumstances would the rubble be repaired, to again construe a similar experience – or so Ruby promised.

In the indeterminable future, the one time co-producer of the network, and moreover the co-producer of the one time CCN flagship The Cavern Today planned to heed every warning that came her way or pinched her. The one warning that she would hold dear and true to her cyan blue heart was: “Stay small and focus on the little mysteries, turmoils and thrilling outcomes that make a story sizzle, but don’t get thrown from the bridge, no matter badly you desire the explorers (possibly D’ni descendant) story to belt out an aria. It’s not worth the complete demise of the protagonists and her cohorts in crime,” she pondered wisely

By noon on Monday the office looked much better. Ruby, instead of refinishing every stick of lumber (once secretly stolen from the Great Tree branches) went shopping for siding and finishes that were created by professionals. She bought scripts, code, furniture and clothes. She sent notes of apology out to anyone still within shouting distance. She told other Eder D’Uru explorers and the transportation system management about any quick transitions she would need to make up front. To give her something else to do during periods of respite and healer meditation events (Ruby can’t sit for too long in the lotus position), she joined two other oddball, PG rated and wonderfully sweet cultural groups being promoted as “safety first” by the much improved 2004, albeit expensive, and highly commercial (ka-ching, ka-ching) Linden transportation company. Over time Ruby got practical, and when her creative fingers get itchy, she plans to go to these places and bother her neighbors, instead of cajoling and otherwise pestering the same explorers she pestered in the past.

There is no doubt Ruby learned through her mistakes. The issue/story is/was whether Ruby will bring about a manageable CCNE (Cavern Communications Network Eder D’Uru desert station) without losing her mind, and the last remnants of a once thriving and completely collaborative cavern broadcasting concern, imagined into being on a lonely and lovely relto during the summer of 2005 by 8 founders, including, but not limited to herself. The not limited to herself part is what she needs to keep in mind, while she tries again to dream up a Prairie Home Companionish project. Always.

Confession Chapter 1 to be continued…

Dear Explorer: This is a serial chapter book – the next part of Chapter 1 is dedicated to what Ruby found on the desert and in the cavern. She has been told this is a new effort, not the same cavern she frequents solo, and it appears the storytellers are right. The scenery does look different. It could be like New York, once York or Londonderry, once London, or Pookeepsie, once Pookeepsie. Who knows? At this very relative pinpoint in time Ruby is not concerned with the story snafu (device) of how she gets to where she’s going. At this moment she is completely in her storytelling mode, because at her age, there may not be a better time to tell the story. In other words Ruby has grown a tad impatient for backdrops, props and people to use those props. Stay tuned for more of Confession Chapter 1.

Desert Hole in the Ground

The seasickness finally subsided. A long nap and a roast beef dinner at Cracker Barrel took care of it, but she felt a quagmire coming over her. Does an explorer whose seen her better days go back down with new transportation. This time the shuttle isn’t a shard. It’s a sim, and she remembers the sim from a time past. Ruby booked a sim in the spring of 2004 after the first live restoration came to full stop. The sim experience was a bumpy, and nearly X rated ride she never wanted to take again. Ruby has a full blown sense of humor, but she’s also a wee stuffy and prudish when it comes to cultural morays and the wearing of clothes. She likes clothes, and lots of them.

Nestled between a nightclub lingerie dealer and a pole dancer did not agree with her. She bought a car, got sick and got out. There is not much more to say about it. Her foray was over, before she got started.

This time was different. There were new ticket exchange offices built along the sim. Ruby could enter the transportation system to get to Eder D’Uru through one of them. She chose the super commercial, but very successful PG (nearly G) rated Faery portal to enter. After being born as a Fae, she took the next TP Shuttle over to Eder D’Uru. Not a single griefer got in her way. The entire trip went without a hitch. Her only problem was flying. It is a common way to get around inside the sim, and Ruby can’t take the heights or the passing terrain. Neither can she look out of an Amtrak window dining car window to the side. The last time she tried, she threw up on her husband’s tweed jacket.

To avoid flying (a try at flying resulted in her episode of seasickness) Ruby walks everywhere or she transports herself through the TP shuttle system. It works. The miles per hour resolution, if set at 1024 X 718 does not bother her to see rush by. The stronger the view the better, and she keeps her eyes on the path in front of her.

Ruby’s ground transportation is a triple core beam me up scotty. Regardless of bandwidth consumption (otherwise known as sim gas), Ruby only goes where she can get a good view. During parties and well attended events, she may resort to a 4 cylinder rider only for the duration of the event. After all she is standing still at that point (unless she is actively engaged in dancing and listening to the wonderful music played by some very professional DJ’s). Her mind can’t fuss about 2 issues at once.

At this time Ruby’s other quagmire, purpose is not so easily determined. She knows she will tell story. It is her life ambition to live out her grandfather’s legacy, and she can do that by telling an old story with new vigor, but she also wants to tell a new story that is only bubbling up from beneath cavern surface now. Most likely there will be conflict of the funny kind now and then. She expects Madge will show up for an adventure or 35. Old friends are certainly going to make the difference. Picking up an explorer shirt in the cavern reminded Ruby of how important it is to belong to a tribe of like minded and kindred spirits. She doesn’t expect to meet a stripper or day bond trader among them.

Out of 12 or 14 Myst like communities along the Sim route, there is bound to be place for Ruby to find old friends and make new ones. Eder D’Uru has that special texture that suits her in particular. Not that other communities aren’t also extending the story. Every one of them does in their own way, but Ruby believes The Voice is never easily replicated. Better to find a new vision for an original concept, than to try to piece by piece lay bricks for an exact copy. Exact copies aren’t possible to do with different technologies and designers at the helm. Ruby, herself is an evolution. She started out as an explorer and fine artist/oil painter museum curator, who came to Myst Island on her own, and only on weekends. At 16 years of age, she lived through virtual life time of antics and mysteries, not all created by game players. Not a moment would she change, but finding the humor in all of it transformed the character of Ruby into someone else. She is no nicer, certainly no wiser, and she is still inept and clumsy. Her wacky assumptions about secret guilds, diverted water, and Riven being withing walking distance of the volcano’s entrance do not help her causes. Ruby has been chastised, fired, rehired, burned, cast out, and not trusted, and all of it brought on by her lonesome.

On the other hand, she is loyal, harmless and ready always to laugh at herself, pratfalls and all. She managed to finagle some over the top gifts, attend a Mysterium in Spokane with friends she will never forget ever, and make more life time friends along the way. Her friendship with Ghaelen is one her of her most precious finds in the cavern. Ghaelen is one of those more than patient explorers that can put up with Ruby. It is Ruby’s blessing and good fortune that Ghaelen listened one night to a play that Ruby adapted.

And for years Tyion, Veralun and LC have also put up with Ruby’s sometimes lack of focus and her decisions to make unwise choices. These alliances are important to Ruby and will be part of the story herein.

In part Ruby believes that many of her issues arise out of her belief that Facebook, My Space and all the other social connection sites have their place, but OOC is not interesting or safe to her. Story and the “sweet rocking safety of a lie” is the line of demarcation between Ruby and her benefactor’s world. Ruby always tells the truth from her perspective. Her benefactor does too. In the in between thin spot (a Celtic place of prayer) lessons are learned for life. Then the benefactor takes the lessons back to the classroom and spreads those life lessons out. Divvying up code is much less arduous than dividing up fishes and loaves (divvying code requires no divinity).

A 95% Ruby O’Degee (Glenfadden) is the only way Ruby will come to the cavern, or any other world wide stage. If 95% of her benefactor’s presence is not good enough for prime time so be it. The remaining private 5% will never be told through the footsteps of Ruby. [Dear reader, this is MY gnarly disclaimer]. As Madge (an original phone bot transformed through Merle’s ingenuity and wit to an avie missing some parts) would say “Don’t be telling your kids to leave themselves open online. It is no place to wash the family’s undergarments or your own.”

What Ruby will do is confess in her own loose cannon style the back story, present and front story of her trials and tribulations, her birth into a cavern, and her attempt to reshape her future until the next best and real thing comes along (Thank you Rod Stewart for reviving that wondrous classic).

Be on the look out for trembling crust.

After Veralun had looked carefully into the hole down which staff members were certain the office had fallen, the group realized it was part of a large ravine they had seen but failed to notice during their search near the hole.  This ravine had appeared in the New Mexico desert some time during winter of 2008.  It was odd that the closing of the Cavern Public Gate in early 2008 should have such a seismic effect on the North American tectonic plate, but apparently it caused quite a number of minor tremors that caused more chaos than anyone had imagined.  And these tremors continued for months after the great silent crashing of the gates as they swung closed.  Unbeknownst to these stalwart Cavern Communicating Networking types, the tremors were still tremoring beneath the temporary desert office abode (shack) that was to serve while construction of a new, temporary office space was built.

It was these tremors, not Madge, that caused the Great CCN Temporary Office Loss of 2009.

This, the staff realized as the joined Veralun at the hole down which they surmised the office had fallen.  Tyion made a comment about holding a memorial service and after some of the same type of avoidance that the staff had decided on earlier regarding the danger of the hole, the staff decided a memorial was a very Explorer-like thing to hold when something was unrecoverable.  As Veralun began a rather long-winded objection-yet-acceptance in regard to the memorial, Alty shouted to him to be careful because, standing some distance away, she felt the tremoring of a tremor and feared it would make the hole and ravine even larger.  The staff as a whole realized the tremors were still tremoring as Veralun turned toward Alty just in time to see Ruby walk quickly past him toward the hole.  She was quite intending to look into it — of course she did –  and she pitched forward as the patch of rock she stepped on shook just enough to change the pitch of the ground on which she placed her weight.  Her other foot came down onto part of a board laying close to the edge of the hole, and as she shifted her weight to compensate for pitching forward, the outer edge of her foot slipped off the board.  Arms flailing, she fell forward and down off the edge.

Shouting loudly (and definitely in Dutch), Veralun reached out, grabbed her by her belt and pulled mightily to keep her from falling into the hole.  He managed to stop her descent, but her belt snapped, whipping her around to face up and away from the hole, and as her belt slid through the belt-loops of her pants, her Relto book caught against one of the belt loops and the velcro she’d used gave way under the force.  Tyion lunged forward to grab her arm, reaching out in vain to catch her Relto book with the other hand.  He nearly lost his own balance, but recovered in time to pull Ruby back from the edge.

Ghaelen and Alty grabbed her waist and the other arm (such was the force of her pitch forward) and betwinxt them all they managed to prevent her sojourn into the deep recesses of the new office abode.  She squirmed just a little as they watched her Relto book descend, but since no one was having any part of her sudden notion to follow it, she cried for a while instead.  Ghaelen began to cry, too, then Tyion groaned out loud, and soon all of the staff were indeed conducting the very memorial they had begun to discuss some time earlier.

After much ado, Alty convinced Ruby to come back to the crate, and to make her feel better Tyion called a meeting.   He told her she didn’t really need to attend, but called it anyway as he was at a loss for anything else that might help. Ghaelen kept herself busy attempting not to plan future agendas, but her to-do list kept getting longer and longer.  Veralun and Alty did what they could to mitigate the shock of the fall, the loss, the other loss, and the tears.  Alty complimented the organized manner in which the non-meeting had grown out of the memorial.

Everyone did feel a little better since they knew now that Madge hadn’t actually done anything to the office,  but they did not feel at all better knowing all those boxes and crates of video was still down there in a buried basement somewhere.  “Ruby,” Alty said sternly, “you don’t need that Relto book now, anyway.  When the Cavern opens again, you can surely get another one.”  Ghaelen nodded and suggested that maybe they could just keep using the crate for the time being.  Ruby nodded and agreed as she always did, which made everyone breathe a sign of relief.